dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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