I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
