Will you blow on my dice?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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