So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
