OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
