dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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