you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
