just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
