I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
