your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
