His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
