I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
