We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
