i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
