I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
