my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
