She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
should my penis look like a turkey
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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