I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
