Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
