I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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