Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
