oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
