its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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