I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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