look no pants
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
