Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
