first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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