i don't like sucking hair
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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