FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
