i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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