i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
