There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
