If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
