I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
