all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
