He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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