kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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