Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
