yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
