He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
