i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Someone came in the potted fern
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
