so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
