hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
