remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
