Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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