hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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