Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
