I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
