6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
