I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
