I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
